Your post echoed so many of my own feelings about changing pace. I'm 65 and retirement isn't financially possible for me, but simplifying my life in the country has been a blessing. I've started setting boundaries, and saying ‘no’ so I can enjoy the little things. I’m still figuring myself out, but I'm getting there. Enjoy your well-deserved next chapter!
I identify with this so much. I tried to fit into my career for way too many decades then told myself I was a failure for not wanting it anymore. I’m happier sitting in my garden with my feet in the dirt than I ever was in a spa having someone else do my nails. I am glad I had the courage to leave it behind and give myself space and time to think.
The Plum Creek moment landed hard. I have my own version — a dirt path on my usual walk that leads to an old cemetery most people don't know exists. A plaque that says 1836, oldest in the township. I hadn't been back since I took my kids there years ago. I went alone this morning. Same place, completely different silence.
I can relate to leaving a life that didn’t fit. I think I am in the “want to” phase and not the “have to” prison. I will take a job if I want to, work on renovations when I want to, read a book if I want to, and pull up and travel as I want to. It is a completely different mindset than getting up and going to the “have to” full-time job. Freedom of time!! Finally!
Be careful, I am 78 and not retired, it gets addictive. We’re fortunate we have jobs, careers where that is possible in all ways. Welcome to finding yourself
Thriving versus surviving seems to be a common thread among midlife women. We're exhausted from carrying the weight of life in our bodies. Theres an assumption that women are the problem solvers, the care givers, the fixers and the glue that holds it all together. It is an absolute necessity to set it all down in order to enjoy the next chapter in our lives. I'm so happy you're living life on your terms and sharing it on Substack ❤️
This resonates so much. I finally just slipped my golden handcuffs for a similar life. Thank you for sharing this. It's comforting to know that others have been there and found peace on the other side.
I love this essay. Many think retirement will make them happy when what they really seek is a happier chapter that is more in alignment with who they are. Maybe that’s retirement or simply the next iteration of what they are here to do. You don’t always need to make the same amount of money. Thanks for this.
You go gal! You are brave. Traveling alone its not easy at all. I have done too much traveling in my working life. Quite happy not to see another aeroplane, train ….or drive. It’s the reverse for me to be home in 1 place steadily without packing another suitcase. Seeing things around neighborhood. Smelling the flowers.
I love your story and I watched some of your videos. I especially love that you went to the location of Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls. Such fond memories for me of my childhood and a simpler time. I think there is much to be said about midlife and how it shows up in so many different surprising ways. Thank you for sharing - I would love to connect with you!
Jennifer, I stumbled across your channel on YouTube and was so glad to see you also have a Substack! As someone who has always been high-achieving and an over-producer, often taking on more than anyone ever asked me to, I have also been guilty of fantasizing that retirement will fix my problems of stress and overwhelm (even though I'm not anywhere near being able to, or really even wanting to, "retire".) In reality, I need to take responsibility for building more white space and margin into my life. Thank you for this!
Your line, "I had spent so many years anticipating what everyone around me needed that I had completely lost track of what I needed," reflects what I went through as well. A decade later, I'm happily divorced and choosing to offer support on my terms, while building in plenty of space for what *I* need and want. It truly is glorious, even as it doesn't fit the narrative of always pushing for more. Thanks for sharing your experiences. 💕
Your post echoed so many of my own feelings about changing pace. I'm 65 and retirement isn't financially possible for me, but simplifying my life in the country has been a blessing. I've started setting boundaries, and saying ‘no’ so I can enjoy the little things. I’m still figuring myself out, but I'm getting there. Enjoy your well-deserved next chapter!
I identify with this so much. I tried to fit into my career for way too many decades then told myself I was a failure for not wanting it anymore. I’m happier sitting in my garden with my feet in the dirt than I ever was in a spa having someone else do my nails. I am glad I had the courage to leave it behind and give myself space and time to think.
The Plum Creek moment landed hard. I have my own version — a dirt path on my usual walk that leads to an old cemetery most people don't know exists. A plaque that says 1836, oldest in the township. I hadn't been back since I took my kids there years ago. I went alone this morning. Same place, completely different silence.
I can relate to leaving a life that didn’t fit. I think I am in the “want to” phase and not the “have to” prison. I will take a job if I want to, work on renovations when I want to, read a book if I want to, and pull up and travel as I want to. It is a completely different mindset than getting up and going to the “have to” full-time job. Freedom of time!! Finally!
Be careful, I am 78 and not retired, it gets addictive. We’re fortunate we have jobs, careers where that is possible in all ways. Welcome to finding yourself
Thriving versus surviving seems to be a common thread among midlife women. We're exhausted from carrying the weight of life in our bodies. Theres an assumption that women are the problem solvers, the care givers, the fixers and the glue that holds it all together. It is an absolute necessity to set it all down in order to enjoy the next chapter in our lives. I'm so happy you're living life on your terms and sharing it on Substack ❤️
This resonates so much. I finally just slipped my golden handcuffs for a similar life. Thank you for sharing this. It's comforting to know that others have been there and found peace on the other side.
I love this essay. Many think retirement will make them happy when what they really seek is a happier chapter that is more in alignment with who they are. Maybe that’s retirement or simply the next iteration of what they are here to do. You don’t always need to make the same amount of money. Thanks for this.
I love your story of transition and finding yourself.
To me, that mindset shift is retirement and you are having an active, exciting retirement. Regardless of semantics, enjoy
“your” life.
You go gal! You are brave. Traveling alone its not easy at all. I have done too much traveling in my working life. Quite happy not to see another aeroplane, train ….or drive. It’s the reverse for me to be home in 1 place steadily without packing another suitcase. Seeing things around neighborhood. Smelling the flowers.
Thank you. Being a mom gives all.of you and you forget and then the transition can be traumatic. I want to take back me slowly
I love your story and I watched some of your videos. I especially love that you went to the location of Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls. Such fond memories for me of my childhood and a simpler time. I think there is much to be said about midlife and how it shows up in so many different surprising ways. Thank you for sharing - I would love to connect with you!
Jennifer, I stumbled across your channel on YouTube and was so glad to see you also have a Substack! As someone who has always been high-achieving and an over-producer, often taking on more than anyone ever asked me to, I have also been guilty of fantasizing that retirement will fix my problems of stress and overwhelm (even though I'm not anywhere near being able to, or really even wanting to, "retire".) In reality, I need to take responsibility for building more white space and margin into my life. Thank you for this!
I love this sentence: “I needed to be saved from a life that didn’t fit.” Thanks for a great article. Blue💙
The term retirement is outdated. It needs to be replaced with reinvention.
Your line, "I had spent so many years anticipating what everyone around me needed that I had completely lost track of what I needed," reflects what I went through as well. A decade later, I'm happily divorced and choosing to offer support on my terms, while building in plenty of space for what *I* need and want. It truly is glorious, even as it doesn't fit the narrative of always pushing for more. Thanks for sharing your experiences. 💕